Saturday, December 6, 2008

This is The Last Lighting Post, I Promise

Let me get this over with, because it's painful. Here is a photo of the pretty twinkly lights on our house -- all one color, tastefully done, worthy of Martha Stewart:


Here is Joe, feeling proud of his handiwork, basking in the glow of his wife's approval for a monochromatic job well done:


Wait a sec. What's he looking at? What is that evil sneer? Do I smell a passive aggressive traitor in our midst?


Join with me now in a moment of silence for the Martha Stewart lighting extravganza that we all should have known was never really possible.
And seriously, look at the green rope lighting underneath the trailer. The blue rope lighting on the antenna wasn't enough?

Let's move on.

This week I received alerts from half of my readers (two of them, that is) regarding a wardrobe change for trashy angel (if I could figure out how to put in a link to my November 17th post, it would be here, cause that's where I alerted you all to trashy angel's presence in our midst this holiday season). Here is her bra-less brazen hussy self in November:


And here she is today:


Though she appears to have only one pose, she clearly has a hairdresser. If she can afford a hairdresser, why can't she afford a bra? Joe insists that bras are for women who need them (the non-perky types) and according to him, Trashy Angel/Trashy Mrs. Claus doesn't need one so it's okay for her not to be wearing one. Um . . . .no. See, only after they have children do women with cup sizes C and below really need a bra. Prior to having children, women with cup sizes C and below wear bras for modesty's sake. I think we all understand what I'm saying here. No need to be graphic. Don't be too hard on Joe -- sometimes his most firmly held beliefs are only oral expressions of his wishful thinking.

But none of this rambling on about a brazen hussy's tendency to chain herself to a flagpole in front of an apartment complex explains Trashy Angel's sudden wardrobe change. I have a few guesses:

1) Those rainstorms we had last weekend created a, shall we say, "see-through" situation and traffic became snarled along Hillsborough Avenue, as (male) drivers could not keep from slowing down to see if they could assist this poor naked woman chained to a flagpole.

2) The non-Christian residents in the apartment complex complained to management about the obvious religious bias being displayed at the entrance -- a bias toward brazen hussy angels.

3) Someone really wanted to use the french maid's apron that came with their halloween costume, but it didn't go with the angel costume.

Regardless of the costume change, I love it that Trashy Angel/Trashy Mrs. Claus has to actually be chained to the flagpole, lest she run away to a "gentleman's club" on Dale Mabry Avenue or Vegas, where, at least by Joe's estimation, she would have a bright career.

3 comments:

  1. Bwhahahaha!!!!! You had me HEE-HAWING!!! I love the trailer--it comforts me to know you have a little of Western NC down there in Tampa ;)

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  2. lovely work on the trailer Joe! Very, very rural!!!

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  3. It's kinda like when you get married and there is a grooms cake. I think the trailor is Joe's grooms cake. LOL.

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