Happy Thanksgiving -- Do You Know Where the Cheez Whiz is?

Today is Thanksgiving, so I have to run get my last minute items from the grocery store -- silver polish and brown sugar. It took me all day Monday and Tuesday to make a long shopping list for everything I would need for today. I intended to go to the store only once. When I got to the store yesterday afternoon, I exited my vehicle with my detailed shopping list in hand, but by the time I was standing in front of the cucumbers I had lost it. I nearly broke down right there in the store. I retraced my steps all the way back out to the car and couldn't find the list, but I only had one hour to get the shopping done, so I tried to remember everything on the list. I walked up and down each aisle scanning both sides of the aisle to make sure I didn't miss anything. I must have looked deranged because at least two Publix employees asked me if they could help me find something. Both times, I sobbed out, "I lost my LIST, can you help me find my LIST?? It took me two days to make it!! I can't find it!!" They both mumbled apologies and left me alone.

When I got home, I pulled out my menu for today and cross-referenced the ingredients to the items I purchased and realized I had done pretty well. The only things I forgot from the original list were Cheez Whiz and silver polish. As the day progressed yesterday, the menu changed slightly – Flamingo Joe wants sweet potatoes, so I had to find a recipe for that and then had to find time to get back to the store.

Dez went with us to dinner last night and she had to pick up something for her family’s Thanksgiving meal (only lettuce -- she’s such a bad cook, they don’t even trust her to make the entire salad), so after we ate, we stopped by Target to pick up what we needed. I told Dez I needed Cheez Whiz and she insisted it was in the cracker aisle. As I am from the South, I have eaten plenty of things with Cheez Whiz in them, but I haven’t actually cooked with it myself for several years, so I had no clue where to find it in Target. But Dez was apparently a Cheez Whiz connoisseur and could lead me right to it. I was, quite frankly, a little taken aback by her confidence. She told me to follow her, so I did – right up to the bottles of squirt cheese.

“Dez,” I said, “this isn’t Cheez Whiz.”

“Yes it is” she said.

“No. It isn’t” I said. “Cheez Whiz comes in a jar. That’s squirt cheese. You can't cook with squirt cheese. I'm pretty sure it's not even food.”

“Well then, I don’t know where the Cheez Whiz is.”

Just in case you need to know where the Cheez Whiz is for your cooking today, it’s in the cheese case where the cream cheese and shredded cheese is. I think that proves that it’s a legitimate food item – a whole different class of food than squirt cheese.

Squirt cheese, honestly. You can’t make mac n’ cheese with squirt cheese!

I was so upset by this insult to Cheez Whiz that I forgot to get silver polish and brown sugar.

So I'll see you at Wal-Mart in a few minutes!

Happy Thanksgiving!