Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Too Many Words for a Wednesday

Since moving from Idaho several years ago, I had forgotten some things about the effect cold weather can have on a person. For example, cold weather makes you shock yourself on car doors, handles on doors going into buildings, and your two year old's fingers (much to their amazement -- where did mommy get these new superpowers?). Cold weather also makes your skin very dry, so that your normal moisturizer just doesn't cut it and you have to break out the Mary Kay Super Duper Hydrating Night Cream as your everyday moisturizer. And let's not forget what a lack of moisture can do to the inside of your nose -- (I'm trying very hard not to use the word booger in this blog post but am finding it difficult to do) -- cold weather causes a severe lack of moisture in your nose that can petrify your normal mucous secretions into painful pointy rocks. And that's all I'll say about that -- but it keeps your kids forever digging around in their noses trying to get them out.

And lastly, the cold weather can make your kid cough to the point that he wakes himself up one hour after he's been put to bed -- and he coughs and coughs and coughs until he projectile vomits whatever chocolate treat Grandma had given him at dinner all over you and all over his room so that dad has to come in and clean up the vomit while you try to convince your kid to take a drink of water so he'll stop coughing and there's no Delsym in the house but could you even give him Delsym if he just had Claritin an hour and a half earlier and you still need to go to Wal-Mart to buy the food your other kid's first grade class needs for Team Day tomorrow morning and it's already 10:30 and you're not really keen on going by yourself to Wal-Mart at night so you were going to make your husband go with you but now someone in addition to Grandma who is already asleep has to stay with the coughing two year old in case he starts vomiting again so your husband will have to go it alone at Wal-Mart and should you even ask him to get Delsym or would the Dimetapp that you just gave the two year old in addition to the Claritin have some sort of nasty reaction with the Delsym and create a purplish-orange projectile vomiting nightmare?

I'm done with cold weather.


  1. I've come up with a very accurate calculation to measure your new year's resolution success - at least on a monthly basis. Look at the blog archive summary on the right, and if today's date is equal to the number of blogs posted for the month, -

    (the number of blogs for the month is the parenthetical number - you used that word at rehearsal the other night and I was too embarrassed to ask what it meant - but I figured it out - it means "in parenthesis”- so I guess this side note is parenthetical)

    - then you're all caught up. If the number of posts is LESS than today's date, then you're behind. And you can easily figure out how many posts you’re behind by subtracting the number of post for the month today's date and voila! You have your number. For example, Today is March 8th, and you have 2 posts in March so you’re behind 6. This should save you lots of time figuring out how far you’re behind and allow more time for posting. No need to thank me, just trying to help, I just really enjoying using “you’re behind” so much (if you replace every ‘re with r , then it’s really funny). Kind of like saying rectory without snickering.

  2. You are aware, aren't you, that the preacher reads this blog?


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