**ALLIGATOR UPDATE 2**

Here's what I know about trapping alligators: nothing.

Now, Flamingo Joe has (more than once) offered to trap the alligator(s) hanging out in our creek, but I have heartily discouraged him for two primary reasons: 1) if Mace sees Daddy doing it, he will only start trying to trap alligators on his own based on FJ's example; and 2) it's illegal and we need his income to keep us in Ovaltine and Ding Dongs, so we can't have him serving a stint in the pokey.

Which is why we called the alligator trapper.

As you know from my two previous posts this week, the alligator trapper came and staked out the bait:

We were very excited thinking about the impending thrill of watching the trapper wrestle the alligator out of the water and hauling it off. We assumed it would be within hours of setting the bait. And although the alligators swam by, hung out, paid their respects to the bait, none of them bit.

We were either naive in our expectations or we have really super-smart alligators who have seen their friends fall victim to such contraptions and somehow know that swallowing that delicious maggot-y beef lung will only land them (or rather, part of them . . . done up nicely as a purse) on a shelf in a high-end boutique in St. Armand's Circle.

So we waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Last night . . . this is what the bait looked like (watch out -- you're about to see what a beef lung looks like after dangling from a string for five days in 94 degree heat -- you may just want to skip this photo):

Bleecch. Are those not the largest flies you have ever seen??

Even Campbell has lost interest in the beef lung at this point. I still have hope, even though the lung continues to shrink, because the trapper hasn't called or stopped by to check on her trap. I can only assume that this means she is accustomed to a trap taking a week or more to actually catch an alligator. But I can't see how a beef lung that has now dried to the point of beef jerky would be palatable to an alligator. I'm thinking we're using the wrong bait -- these alligators clearly like dogs, so we should cover a beef lung in dog hair and splash it in the water by the bank until the alligator comes.

So to sum up: 1 rotten beef lung + 6 days = 0 alligators. I may send Flamingo Joe out with a fishing pole and a BB gun tomorrow and we'll see who the real alligator trapper is. I'll just keep Mace in the house so he can't watch.