Tuesday, November 3, 2009


Well it's taken me until Tuesday to recover enough from Halloween weekend to actually get a blog post up summarizing all the Halloween fun. Let me go back a little further, though, because Halloween for me really started the weekend before Halloween at WOBtoberfest (World of Beer's version of Oktoberfest -- don't worry, Mom, I don't actually frequent World of Beer, but Dez talked us into going -- she's a very bad influence on me and you should really have a talk with her about it the next time you're down). WOBtoberfest is held outdoors and there are really loud bands and really long lines for beer. I don't like beer so much, but Joe doesn't mind it at all, so right before we paid a stupid amount of money to go in, I put my driver's license and money in my pocket. I know you're thinking that this story doesn't really fall under the Halloween category because there are no costumes involved (unless you count the creepy guy taking his shirt off on stage), but it gets really spooooooky here in a minute because while I was at WOBtoberfest, I lost my driver's license. And that's what's spooky -- I did not have one drop of alcohol while I was at WOBtoberfest and I was the one who lost a driver's license. Very weird.

Then on Monday, I lost my cell phone. I don't lose things that often and really lose them -- you know what I mean. I lose my keys sometimes, but since my car is sitting in the driveway I at least have an idea that the keys are somewhere in the house, or the car, or laying on the driveway, or at the bottom of the flower pot on the porch that my son loves to dig in. So the keys are lost, but not really lost. But I really lost my cell phone. And it is difficult for me to survive without the phone. Without the driver's license I can just drive very very carefully, but without the phone, I can't read and respond to email while waiting in line at the bank and I can't text back and forth with Dez about the nut cases at her job. I was in a panic worrying about who might be reading my attorney-client-privileged email. It took me 24 hours to retrace my steps and figure out that I lost the phone at Target. So I called Target and had this conversation:

Me: Hi, I think I left my cell phone there, do you have it?

Target: Hold on, let me transfer you.


Target: Can I help you?

Me: Yes, I think I left my cell phone there, do you have it?

Target: They transferred you to the bakery. Did you leave it in the bakery?

Me: No.

Target: Hold on, let me transfer you.


Target: Can I help you?

Me: Yes, I think I left my cell phone there, do you have it?

Target: What kind of phone?

Me: Blackberry

Target: Did it have a cover on it?

Me: Yes, a black rubbery cover.

Target: Who's the service provider?

Me: Verizon

Target: Yes, we have it.

Me: Okay, I'll come get it.

10 minutes later I'm standing at the customer service counter at Target and three salespeople plus two managers and 15 minutes later, I am within arms' length of holding my phone again. The manager pulls out some sort of log and writes something down in it (while still holding my phone) and then looks up at me and says, "I need to see your driver's license."

Darn good thing I had my passport on me.

Which brings us up to the actual Halloween weekend. On Friday night at dinner, Grandma suggested we go to breakfast at IHOP the next morning. Either she didn't want to have to cook breakfast or she was craving those pumpkin pancakes. I myself was dying for the pumpkin pancakes, so it was a done deal and Joe had no say whatsoever in the matter. So Saturday morning we all got up bright and early (that's 6:30 for everyone but me -- I got up around 7:15 and only because I knew pumpkin pancakes were waiting for me), piled in the car and drove to IHOP. IHOP is hit or miss -- kind of like Denny's and Steak n' Shake -- if you go on the right day at the right time, you might get good service and decent food, but you should never count on it and always prepare yourself for the worst so that you can be pleasantly surprised. In this case, we managed to identify every flag on the glass above the benches (using my Blackberry's internet access) in the amount of time it took them to get us our food.

If you haven't been to IHOP in the last couple of weeks, you might not know that not only do they have pumpkin pancakes right now, they also have pecan pie pancakes, gingerbread pancakes, and eggnog pancakes. It was not an easy choice. I mean, I really really really wanted to try the eggnog pancakes, but I wasn't sure we'd even get back to IHOP before Christmas so that I could have the pumpkin pancakes later. We haven't been to IHOP in a year -- I didn't want to waste my one chance at pumpkin pancakes! Maybe because she's older and checking things off her bucket list, Grandma stepped on out there and had the pecan pie pancakes. I played it safe and stuck with the pumpkin. Joe (who I think was resenting the whole trip) had an omelot made out of wheat germ and eggwhites or something and then snuck Mace's bacon off his plate when he thought Mace wasn't looking. But Mace was looking and apparently he had come to IHOP for the bacon:

Mean old daddy, eating the little boy's bacon.

Saturday night, we did our Saturday night church thing and then raced over to Heidi's to go trick or treating with Heidi's kids. Look at these adorable children:

Kate was Minnie Mouse, Ben was Lightning McQueen, Mace was Wow Wow Wubbzy and Casey was a goth teenager. Just kidding, he was Batman without the mask -- but doesn't he look like a teenager in that picture? He's like a foot and a half taller than all those kids. He had revealed his true crime-fighting identity before we even left the driveway because it was 85 degrees.

Kate and Mace only actually walked to maybe three houses, then they were just chauffered:

When we got back to Heidi's, the kids stripped off the costumes and started running off their sugar highs. Mace and Ben went cruising for chicks in Ben's Mustang:

Note the boys' hand placement in that photo -- Mace is trying to take the wheel and Ben is messing with the radio. And they say women are terrible drivers!


  1. Please schedule me an appointment with DEZ at Thanksgiving. I need to have an intense counseling session with her about being a good example for and influence on my daughter, who is perfect and above reproach. As for Frolicking Joe's "not minding it" is an understatement--I see your 'fridge on a regular basis!!!

    As for you not "having a single drop," but losing your license--(are you not concerned about "identity theft?") From my experience as a 13 yr old visiting a brewry in Havana, Cuba on a tour with my father, you don't have to drink one drop to feel the effects because just walking through the place could get you "tipsy." I think the brewry we toured made Rum, so I guess that's why when I was finally introduced to "hot buttered rum" by my sister, Fran, rum became my alcohol of choice for a number of years. That is, my choice when I would have a rum and coke once every 3 or 4 years!

    NOW--you and Elsie are really in trouble!!! Do you know how long it's been since I had IHOP pumpkin pancakes?? It's been YEARS. Every fall, I go to an IHOP-Valdosta, Warner Robins, Macon, Atlanta and points beyond but they don't have them--it's seems it's an indivdual store's choice and varies year to year and store to store. SO,THIS YEAR FOR MY THANKSGIVING DAY, 70 YEAR OLD B'DAY---I WANT IHOP PUMPKIN PANCAKES!!!!!!
    Love Ya, MOM

  2. Jennifer, when you were are Crestridege, you were taught the following phrase,"Who you are; Where you're from; and Who you represent." I believe from you blog you forgot all three challenges. I was thinking, you mentioned beer hall and church both in the same blog. The thought comes to mind with that, you also forgot about what you were taught by your parents, and others, about the influence you have on others. Both you and Dez need to have a time of confession and get rid of that sin. Then I don't what you had in the beer hall, but whatever it was, it made you lose your license. I rest my case.

    Love Dad.

  3. This just goes to show you that you can take a girl away from her parents, let her get married, have 2 kids, and turn 40 and her mommy and daddy will always be her mommy and daddy.
    Dez, I really hope your mom doesn't read my blog cause you're in enough trouble already with MY parents!

  4. I like it better when Flamingo Joe is in trouble......I thought it was called "fellowship" when you meet with a group of people. Where is Joe?

  5. Jen, I agree with your dad - church and beer hall???? people will get confused when they read your blog - not a goody good advertisement for those whom you are trying to reach!!!
    You lost your license, did you lose your money too? weren't they tucked together in your pocket????

    Dez, shame on you to influence the Flamingo clan to the beer hall!!!
    I thought you already confessed, repented and became a baptist!!!


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